Broadcast Heavies Declare Tournament A Bust!

What left sports fans reeling in despair, has also left the broadcast network for the World's Great Tournament in March exasperated! Broadcast director for the tournament, Louisana Louie, declared that the weekend upsets mean certain victory for rival networks. "Nobody in their right mind will give a pelican's beak if the Curling Olympians beat the Hanger ons, or if those PhD nutjobs out-score the Librarians!", exclaimed Mr. Louie during an outrageous press conference shortly after the conclusion of the Sunday games.

Sadly, Mr. Louie may be right. In a viewer poll released by MediaWeek this morning, it is clear that The World's Greatest Tournament in March faces a great uphill battle to retain its audience for the final games. In fact, the most condemning bit of data that surfaced in the survey was the fact that respondents would rather watch anything but these final games - including show's like "Knitting with Gramma Kay" and "Musty Joe's Tales of Tobasco"; two shows that have failed to draw more than 12 viewers in their short run on Public Access.

"Welllll, you see now, people do wanna watch good ol' Gramma Kay." Said her dear friend Melinda Sunflower. "She's making a nice sweater for her granddaughter on this week's show, too"

Mr. Louie who had just read the news exploded with venom in a brief interview this morning, "Musty Joe doesn't even like hot foods! I've watched that show! He takes a bite... his eyes fill with water, his body shakes, his skin turns red and then green, and he concludes with either passing out cold, or crying to his momma! He's a moron, egads!"

Egads is right! Will you continue to pay attention?

And then there was 4

It was a massacre of the tournament favorites, for sure, over the past weekend. So much to review, but so disappointing for now. So please forgive me for my very brisk posting this morning. Let's just say.... The matches: unbelievable. The upsets: incredibile. Dreams: dashed. Losers: gutted. Winners: Elated. Here's the list of the final four: Curling Olympians (who brushed aside the Chucky Cheese Employees), Hanger Ons (who upset and then "friended" the Comic Con Attendees on Facebook), Those with a PhD in Taxidermy (who pickled the French DJs with Big Thumbs), and Naughty Librarians (who got their dewy decimal on over Godzilla's Babies).

The Madness Continues!!!

Good day everyone! Below, you'll find the latest news on each of the exciting matches being played today - feel free to click on each to read the copy better (if you dare)!

By the way... my predictions: Taxidermy stuffs the Garbage Collectors. The French DJs make it thru by the skin of their thumby-thumb-thumbs. Godzilla's Babies get their Lincoln on, and crush Civil War Re-enactors like Grant took Richmond. And finally, the match between the two biggest scoundrels in the tournament, it's too close to call (sorry!)

A full report for all of the Thursday and Friday matches will be posted tomorrow!! Stay tuned! Big news guaranteed!

Eechee Momma! Thursday and Friday = Madness!!!

The tournament comes back with a vengence tomorrow, and I'm wiggin' out about it!! Big Games! Big Stakes! And Big Competitors! It doesn't get more exciting than this! Let's take a look:

Big Match 1: Naked Samurais vs. Chucky Cheese Employees


There is no better match-up in the 3rd round than the Naked Samurais vs. the Chucky Cheese Employees. One might think that the Samurais have the advantage because they are buck-naked and... well... they are buck-naked doing Samurai moves. Freaky stuff, and extremely upsetting when they are lunging forward or squatting.

But you'd be a fool to overlook the Chucky Cheese Employees... who knocked out the Super Cute Yorkie Owners, in an upset that was unexpected by all of the sporting world. Lars Borkbok, of the Finnish Yorkie Times, declared "The Chucky Cheese Employees are horrible cheats, and giant nob-heads." Not very nice, but it sums up the hatred CCE are fostering because they are beating the odds and taking this tournament on their own terms.

Winner, if I had to pick: Chucky Cheese Employees... by a slight margin.

Big Match 2: Curling Olympians vs. Australian Rugby Players

It's probably curtains for the Curling Olympians... despite putting the Girls Scouts out to pasture a few days ago.

You see, the biggest problem that the Curling Olympians face... is that their secret weapon: their trademark coolfizzle pants... are nolonger a tournament shocker. So what stopped the poor little girls in Troop A, shouldn't even make an impression on Nils Dundee and his Australian Rugby team. In fact, given that each player on ARP has suffered an average of 3-concussions-a-year for the past 5 years, it is likely that the coolfizzle pants could create a case of mistake identy for the Curling Olympians (see photo above).

Winner, if I had to pick: Australian Rugby Players. A blow out, for sure.

Big Match 3: Sultans of Swing vs. Comic Con Attendees

Let's not waste anytime with this... Winner, if I had to pick: It's Hammer Time! No doubt about it... Comic Con Attendees are here to stay. Sorry to be so forward on this analysis... but ka-pow! zzzzazzzamm! those poor merry Sultans are in trouble!


Big Match 4: Hanger Ons vs. Cereal Box Designers Ok... so I took some time out yesterday to meet with the Cereal Box Designers's less than charismatic team captain, Adam Tuckmudder. I figured he'd have a few insightful comments to offer on the upcoming match against the Hanger Ons... the tournament's true "wonder story." The problem... it turns out Mr. Tuckmudder is about as exciting as reading the ingredients to a box of Grape Nuts. Here's some hightlights:

Mr. Tuckmudder fell in love with cereal boxes when in college.

Mr. Tuckmudder feels that the whole grain option for Honey Bunches of Oats was just too fancy.

Mr. Tuckmudder likes to eat cereal with and without milk.

So you see... he's a pretty dull dude. In terms of the tournament, his only comment was that he feels the Hanger Ons are just a bunch of annoying wannabees, who will probably want to be his friend after the match.

So... I had to ask him... "what if they do?" To which he replied... "hmm... I hadn't thought of that." Ugh... par for the course, when talking to Tuckmudder.

Winner, if I had to pick: Hanger Ons, please!!

Ok... so tomorrow, I'll update with the other teams! Hang tight! Have a good night!!

Let's talk UPSETS from Day 1

There's very little enjoyment at Ferby Macintosh's house this morning. When he left his home last Friday for The World's Great Tournament in March, his hopes were high. "I remember him saying to everyone... We're gonna win this whole thing. Just as sure as the Moon is bigger than the sun," said a distressed Avacado Macintoch, mother of Ferby and spiritual matron of The Guys who Play Bongos at Parties. "Now what am I going to say to him?"
These are sad times indeed, with Bongos playing dudes beating their last drum against the The Book Smart Garbage Collectors. "Hey, man... good times just came to an end. It kind of blew my mind," said Ferby. "This tournament, my team, and my bongos are my passion. For real."

Final score: The Book Smart Garbage Collectors 70, Guys that play bongos at Partires 67.

In other tournament upsets: World Champion Whistlers sent shockwaves thru the sports world with their melodic victory over The Leprechaun Imposters; on St. Patty's Day none-the-less. Shaun O'Guiness, who's real name is Ruskoff Borismennevski, played the central villian in the demise of the Irish team, from the Bartlebee, Nebraska. "Bon-NO Thanks" read the signs as they left their hotel this morning.

Final score: World Champion Whistlers 79, The Leprechaun Imposters 68.

Stay tuned for more news!!

Dreams are dashed on Day 1!

They say tournaments can bring a grown man to tears. A humbling statement, and one that Dan Dobbles and his balloonatics know all too well tonight, as they were dumped from the tournament by the amp'ed up on provolone & mountain dew Chucky Cheese Employees.

Final score: Balloon Artists 64, Chucky Cheese Employees 68.

Elsewhere, the notoriously vicious Super Cute Yorkie Owners crushed the hapless Angry Chefs of Monte Carlo. "Je suis tellement en colere!!!!" declared head chef, Patrice Patrice... just as he missed a nearly-impossible-to-miss basket; bringing his field goal tally to 0-for-42-shots. Oh la misere!

Final score: The Angry Chefs of Monte Carlo 70, Super Cute Yorkie Owners 81

Speaking of upsets, in Group B, The Council on Sudanese Tourism punted a sorry West Ham United Supporters; and the Hanger Ons suprised everyone with their convincing victory over the Needlepoint Assassins. Lory Labinport, of WHUS, declared the loss the worst day in his life since the signing of Iain Dowie... but did state, after the match, "I do plan to visit the Sudan some time very soon." The Needlepoint Assassin's where less gracious following their amazingly poor performance... with manager Mary Farthwop saying, "the Hanger Ons are rubbish, and I am pretty well sure that their goggles and wet suits are against the rules of the tournament."

Final scores:

Needlepoint Assassins 61, Hanger Ons 74.

West Ham United Supporters 55, The Council of Sudanese Tourism 64.

More scores and recaps to follow!! Stay tuned!!

More on the Awesome teams!!

Super Cute Yorkie Owners

"O. M. G!! Isn't Ruffer Noodlenocker sooooo cute in his little vest?"
"Oh yes... and his Yorkie, Booboo, looks absolutely smashing in her matching vest!"
"oooh they are soo adorable!!"

Annoying? You bet. Get ready folks... it's that kind of nonsense that makes the Super Cute Yorkie Owners a force of be reckoned with. Ruffer, who renamed himself to better match Booboo, is a remarkable competitor and deadly to the core. Surrounding the team is their X-factor... a baker's dozen of S.C.Y.O. groupies who coo, fuss, and gush over everything Noodlenocker and company do.
Chances of winning: frighteningly good. Yorkies, their owners and groupies. Scary stuff.
Inside scoop: Only one team has succesfully beaten S.C.Y.O.... the Great Grandest Pirates of Gray's Lake. To quote Pirate captain Pegleg Blueberry, "aye... me needed the grog just to stay on th' court w'd them. drank meself blind 'nd ate one of th'm dogs. maybe two, come to think of it."

Breaking News! Chaos hits tournament favorites: Friends of Ned!!

Friends of Ned

I must report a terrible update on Friends of Ned. An unfortunate comment Ned made about Emma Sweetpea on Monday has created a massive exodus in friends for the 5ft 7 inch dude who likes to wear turtlenecks and high-top kicks. To best bring you up to speed, I put together this handy chart that looks at the developments over the past six days (see below). Btw, you can click on it... and it will then be more readible.

For those of you who picked F.O.N. to go all the way... I wish you the best!

And I want to express my deepest sorrow to Emma Sweetpea! Never feel bad about braces. They're cool!

Meet some more of the AWESOME Teams!

Grannies with Lasers

The Grannies with Lasers surprised everyone with their definitive win against the Potsville Skeet Shooters to qualify for The World's Greatest Tournament in March. With Ms. Agnes Mrytle (pictured), the GWL have a powerhouse who's bound to be the talk of the tournament. The only problem... they open their campaign against the 2010 October Fest... a team brimming with overconfidence, brew, and lederhosen (a deadly trifecta in tournaments like this).

Notable: GWL's Delilah Norbert claims to have once received a flirtatious wink from Calvin Coolidge... to which she said, she smacked him good and proper.
Odds of winning: If they beat 2010 October Fest, this could be GWL's tourney to lose.


The League of Extraordinary Manatees
Are these Manatees EXTRAORDINARY or just extra-ordinary? That's the question on everyone's mind with just a few weeks to go before the tournament starts. On one hand, they wear top hats and can eat one-tenth of their body weight in 24 hrs. But on the other hand, in the past two weeks, they have had four coaching changes (two of which were mistakenly eaten)... and at the moment, are being managed by that very ordinary prince, Sir John Peabody Excalibur Tomatoe, of that very unfamous Tomatoe family. No matter what becomes of LoEM's journey in the tournament, this will become a building block for the future.

Notable: Prized player, Sigfried Tickles (pictured), was recently seen taking ballet lessons to improve his balance. Apparently, he's trying to improve his ability to keep his top hat on during the matches.
Odds of winning: No Feet, Unsightly Weight Issues, Lack of Thumbs are just the beginning of a long list of problems that the LoEM face. And probably most importantly... Tomatoe needs to go if the LoEM want to be taken seriously.

Meet some of the teams!

The League of Self Important Tweeters

"@ the Gap! Buying a T-shirt!" "Whuz up wid the bad service at Chili's?" Watchout everyone these peeps could make a big run in the tournament!

Expert Analysis: "Looking at fish food @ Whole Foods" NeilVanHalenFantweetdeckhipsterpleasedontforgetme
Odds of Winning: pretty good... after all, when was the last time you read a tweet that wasn't a self-important, self-promoting declaration of one thing, or the other?

Balloon Artists

Also known as the Balloonatics, by their fans, these Picassos of the Inflatables, qualified for the World's Greatest Tournament in March by crushing the Norway Women's Bob Sledding Club. Dan Dobbles (pictured) leads the team with a fancy eye for fine shirts and imaginative balloons.

Expert Analysis: "if style counts, Dobbles and his team should win it all!" Winnie Archibald, Fancy Schmancy Magazine.
Odds of Winning: not too good. :( Style doesn't count too much... especially in the opening match against Chucky Cheese Employees. Had they started with a match against Grannies with Lasers, they might have had a chance.

The brackets for the World's Greatest Tournament in March

Yo! Hey everyone! The brackets are now available!!!

Please feel free to click on the image above... print it out, and have at it!!

This is going to be one seriously awesome tournament. In the coming days, I'll breakdown the teams... and give you the skinny on who stands the best chance of becoming "The March Super Mega Champion!"

Respect! C2k7 in 2012!

March Madness!!!

Get ready for my super awesome tournament... Check out my logo for it! Pretty official lookin' aye? I sure think so!! More details on this coming soon!

Crazy Karate Kats imix

Super cool news... look for my Crazy Karate Kats iMix on iTunes... it includes my recommendations on the hottest trax to kick start 2011. Ok... so some songs are from 2010 or before... but so what! These trax rock! 17 in all, Crazy Karate Kats is 1 hour of pure bliss. Featured tracks include:

Electric Valentine "Beat Drop"

Eiffel 65 "Blue 2009"

Savage Garden "California"

The Venus Stare "Close to You (fear of tigers remix)"

Yes Giantess "Demons"

Daft Punk "Derezzed"

Darius & Finlay "destination"

Shwayze "Get u home (cherry cherry boom boom remix)"

Medina "perfektion"

Shiny Toy Guns "rocketship 2010"

Kiss in Cities "Satellites"

Lights "Second Go"

Hibernate "That High"

Erasure "weight of the world"

Ou Est Le Swimming Pool "You started"

Anoraak "You Taste like cherry"

The Naked and Famous "Young blood"

Wicked nutty, aye? For a quick highlight of a few of the artists featured:

Kiss in Cities is made up of two members of the Manchester, England band (We Are) Performance. Only two Kiss in Cities songs are available in the USA, and I believe Kiss in Cities was just a side project while (We Are) Performance was on a hiatus. "Satellities", which is featured on my imix, is one of my favorites. However, of the four songs that Kiss in Cities have made available from their catalog, the song that remains my most favorite is called "Colours". Its a masterpiece of synthpop perfection. To learn more about Kiss in Cities:

Kiss in Cities Myspace page

The video for Colours (on YouTube)

And finally, here's a link to an awesome song by their other band, (We Are) Performance... song: Let's Start

Another artist I just had to highlight is Medina. I came across a video by her when I was looking for Alphabeat live performances. The video was for a song titled, "Kun for Mig"... which was such an amazingly cool track, that I was instantly hooked. It turns out that Kun in Mig means "You and I", in her native language, and soon enough, an english version was made available. My selection for the imix is Perfektion, which is a brooding, powerful track from her album "Velkommen Til Medina". I love it, and I hope you do too.

Here's an AMAZING live performance of her new track "Lonely"

Electric Valentine is the third artist that I wanted to highlight. I really, really like them. They are the definition of DIY electronica. They write music that wears their influences on their sleeves, they remix other exciting unsigned bands, and create a stir of noise about their music within their ever-growing legion of fans. I selected my favorite song "Beat Drop", which has a raging, bouncing bass and funky-crunchy guitar that fits perfect with Chris and Lauren's vocals.

Electric Valentine on Myspace

Follow them on Twitter

Live performance of their track "A night with you"

Finally, I have to give my props to Shiny Toy Guns. They've been through a couple of strange years. After replacing Carah with Sisely, so many fans cried fowl and then the fans continued to moan when they released "Season of Poison"... a (kind-of) rock concept album that seemed to do away with the Shiny's electro roots, and embrace instead some weird 1970s prog-rock (good grief!). At the time of the release, even I, an ever-faithful fan, wondered if they had lost the plot... but then UNEXPECTEDLY in 2010, they came back with two covers for an automobile advertising campaign, which featured bright synths and awesome energy. Soon after, they released a dance / remix album called "Girls Le Disko" which featured a whole host of awesome remixes from over the past three years. It seems now, that the Shiny Toy Guns have made amends and are poised for a huge 2011 comeback. So in respect to them, you gotta enjoy the 2010 remix of their classic "Rocketship".

Here's the video for Rocketship 2010 (you can get it on iTunes, too!)

And be sure visit their twitter site to keep posted on their lastest studio efforts

Respect in 2011! C2k7 in 2012!

My top 10 recording artists of the year

Ok... so my top 20 songs from 2010 were pretty rad, aye? Well, watch out... here's my top 10 recording artists of the year...

10. Markus Schulz

I've been a fan of Markus Schulz for a long time... ever since he released Without You Near... a classic. But this year's "Do You Dream" album was his best work yet! Last Man Standing blew me away, and was in constant rotation... but "Not the Same" featuring Jennifer Rene was just as good. What I like most about Markus is that he mixes emotional synths with 100% energy... so even when he's crafting a slow track, there's intensity to it. So... here's the deal... if you don't have "Do You Dream"... go right now to iTunes and get it!

9. Yes Giantess

Ok, so I've written about Yes Giantess before... but, the big deal in 2010 was the fact that their debut album "Siren" was finally released on iTunes. So at long last, I was able to buy it... instead of having to stream their songs on their Myspace page. Then add to this good news... that Fear of Tigers remixed The Ruins... making an amazing track, even more amazing. I really recommend looking into this band, if you haven't already... they're fun, poppy, and clever... a lethal combination in the right hands!

8. Lady Gaga

Yes, yes... Lady Gaga... the media sensation, the chart topper... it's all a bit obvious to celebrate the top 10 in 2010 with her, ain't it? Ugh. But here's the deal, "Alejandro" was a massive song. And I couldn't stop listening to it all year long! Those heavy synths that drag Alejandro along are so awesomely wicked, that I just had to turn the volume up to 11 (ha!) every time it came on my iPod. Plus, she was lucky enough to have the amazing Sound of Arrows to remix it... making Alejandro the perfect party song of the year.

7. Jes
The vocalist to Motorcycle (remember? "As the Rush Comes in"... don't ever forget it... brilliant), had a seriously awesome year. With several singles released over the year, I had Jes in nearly constant rotation. "Awaken" was my favorite... but her techno-rock cover of The Cure's "Love Song" was amazing. I also love, love, loved her collaboration with BT... "every other way"... and she then closed the year with "Closer" which was just excellent... check the video on YouTube if you haven't (JES "CLOSER" VIDEO). One of electronica's most precious artists, I just can't wait to see what she has in store for 2010.

6. Ou Est Le Swimming Pool

At long last "The Golden Year" was released in September. But it was all too late... in August tragedy struck the band with the lead singer's suicide. I remember being terribly upset and shaken when I read the news. I loved this band (see my previous posts)... and now the fate of their future remains kept under wraps. But, I can't recommended "The Golden Year" enough. It's unbelievable, powerful, and just great. Outside of the known singles, you gotta check out "Curtain Falls", "Our Lives", and "Next to Nothing"... they've been my soundtrack for the past three months. Charlie Haddon... thank you for your music. God Rest.

5. Nadia Ali

As a long fan of her music, it comes with no surprise that Nadia Ali would make my list. She had a big year... with three remix albums, collaborations with Dresden & Johnston, Chris Reece and Schiller. My favorite was her work with Schiller... "Try"... which was accompanied with a killer video (click here to check it out!!! NADIA ALI "TRY"). Like most great songs, iTunes still has yet to add "Try" to their store... ugh!!! that's so frustrating!!! But, never-the-less, don't miss out on picking up her "Queen of clubs" remix albums... they come with three killer covers (art that is)... and amazing remixes... Here's hoping she tours the USA in 2011!

4. Fear of Tigers

Nearly everything Fear of Tigers touched was gold this year (like last year too!). Hands down the best remix was their electrifying of "Waterfall" by Rosanna. From the instant the electronics kick off on the track, it never stops... so brilliant, so perfect. In 2010, Fear of Tigers generously made their debut "Cossus Snufsigalonica" for free download... and WOW what an album! Follow the link below, and get it now! And... if I can be a bit hopeful for 2011... I'd love to see Fear of Tigers remix Hurts (please, if you're reading this... do it!!!). Visit the following link (Soundcloud) to download their album: FEAR OF TIGERS ON SOUNDCLOUD

3. Hurts

How can Hurts's debut album not be available in the USA???? This album is the best release of the year. The haunting "Wonderful Life" is the only song currently available on iTunes... but it's a remix... by the amazing Arthur Baker... but still... where the David Beckham are the original tracks??? So, here's what I'm going to do for you... below is a set of links to the three videos Hurts released in Europe this year... my favorite... "Stay"... so elegant and gorgeous.

Stay video Wonderful Life video
Better than love video

2. BT
BT released "These Hopeful Machines" this year, which was then supported by several EPs featuring the remixes of the lead singles... "Suddenly," "Emergency" and "Every other word." The main album was awesome, and showed that BT continues to be the undeniable prince of electronica. My favorite, as mentioned earlier, was "Every other word." In 2009 the Armin remix of "every other word" was the first taste of what would become one of the most romantic songs trapped in a blistering blizzard of electronics ever recorded. Perfection.

If you haven't seen the video for the song... check it here: BT "every other way (featuring Jes)"

1. Robots with Rayguns

The best! Remixes for Lady Gaga, Ke$ha, Timbaland, and (my favorites) Nightwaves... is just part of the Robots for Rayguns story. The other part, and perhaps the even better part, is their own music... in particular their trax Sugarbaby and The Distance off of their self-released Electro isn't Dead debut are wicked. Like Fear of Tigers, you can get their album for free... so instead of rattling on and on about how great they are... just go check them out! Robots with Rayguns on Soundcloud.

The 20 Biggest Songs of 2010

What a year... so many awesome bands and songs to write about... but let me start with my top 20 songs of the year. So how I did I come up with these?

It's simple... I started with my iTunes library... I looked at all the new songs I picked up in 2010, and sorted them by number of plays... and here's what I came up with (and in case you care!!... the number of plays are noted in orange):

1.) Markus Schultz "Last Man Standing" (152)
2.) Nightwaves "Sweet Carrie" (149)
3.) Temple One "Autumn Leaves" (140)
4.) Sunlounger "Lost (Chill Version)" (126)
5.) Robots with Rayguns "Sugarbaby" (122)
6.) Lady Gaga "Alejandro (sound of arrows remix)" (121)
7.) Gareth Emery "Sanctuary (radio edit)" (119)
8.) Markus Schultz "Not the same" (119)
9.) Darius and Finlay "Rock to the beat" (116)
10.) Akon "Oh Africa (pepsi version)" (113)
11.) Rosanna "waterfall (fear of tigers remix)" (112)
12.) Space Cowboy "devastated (howard jones remix)" (111)
13.) Nelly "just a dream" (108)
14.) Kiss in Cities "satellites" (106)
15.) Hurts "wonderful life (arthur baker remix)" (104)
16.) Yes Giantess "the ruins (fear of tigers remix)" (100)
17.) Robyn "dancing on my own (chew fu remix)" (97)
18.) Shakira "waka waka" (96)
19.) BT "every other way (jim jacobsen remix)" (94)
20.) Slobodan River "surrounded" (93)

Just a few comments on the list... there are several songs here that aren't available in the USA yet... and it just plain rots that it's the case! Hurts (anything by them) and Rosanna's "waterfall" are the perfect examples. Slobodan River is another example, but "surrounded" is old... dating back a few years ago. As you can see in my image post, I included Landon Donovan from the US World Cup team... well that's because the World Cup heavily influenced my top 20... with Akon and Shakira being on my constant playlist from May - July. Remixers Fear of Tigers and Robots with Rayguns deserve some special attention as well... as they remain my favorites from this year. Both made their albums available for free one the web... so go and look for them... neither will disappoint!

Back to the World Cup for a final comment... here's the best TV ad of the tournament... Thank you pepsi and Akon!! Watch it on Youtube by clicking here.